At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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