btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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