Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
