I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize