we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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