I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize