I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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