i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
