it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
