Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
