she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
