pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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