bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
