You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Boobs speak an international language.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
