No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
