What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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