Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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