Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
