my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
