I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
