do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
