I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Blood and glitter go together right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
