Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
