Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
