At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you told grandpa to call you daddy
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
