We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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