Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
