it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize