I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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