I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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