I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
