just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
