Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
