What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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