Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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