they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
