you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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