i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize