oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
