the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think your dad took our porno
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
40s are totally the cure
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
