Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
