Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
