my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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