i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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