i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
