I skipped work to stalk him.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
