Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I stole a fireplace last night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
