Whod you bang
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
