i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize