i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Green mimosas i think yes
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We have so much sex to catch up on
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
