She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
