Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My balls are so social today.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.