How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
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This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.