if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was