I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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