Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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