Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
