Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize