somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
