everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
