remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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