He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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