I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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