Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
