i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
