why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
