in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
