when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
