Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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