I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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